(Another late) Sneak peek

If you think that these sisters love each other, then you're right. But don't be fooled . . . the hugging is less about the love and more about the fact that it was 40 degrees outside when we took these pictures. They were troopers. Pay no attention to the icicles hanging from their appendages.

The irony is that if we had waited ONE WEEK, we could have taken these in balmy 60 degree weather. Who would have thought?

(A really late) Sneak peek . . .

A lot can change in a year. Seriously, I didn't realize just how much these girls had grown until I looked at last year's pictures. Amazing.

Most of our session was spent chasing after them, or trying to balance my camera and make them all smile . . . and look at me . . . all at the same time. The family picture below is the ONLY ONE where everyone was looking and no one had any fingers up their noses. We had a good time!

6 weeks old

6 weeks. He's 6 weeks old. As usual, in some ways I can't believe he's already 6 weeks old and in others, it feels like he's been here for 6 months.

I think he'll be a lot like his brother in that he doesn't sleep much during the day. He does, however, do fairly well at night. He's a generally happy baby as long as his needs are getting met, but he does have a fussy time at night . . . always around the time we sit down to eat dinner. It doesn't matter if we eat at 5 or 7 . . . he wakes up and is fussy. I think it's his way of helping me manage my weight.

I love this kid . . .

Meet Monkey George

If you don't use the babysitters we use, you should be jealous.

We're blessed to have some great girls who live nearby (and not so nearby) to help us take care of Jack. The one who's here most regularly (Kelsey) showed up with an empty peanut can yesterday and told Jack that it was a cage to catch his pet rock. Which of course, caused Jack to all but shove Kyle out the front door so that they could get on with business.

When I got home, he showed me his home for his new little friend (after screaming that he wanted me to go back to work and Kelsey to stay). He had affectionately named him "Monkey George."


They decorated the can, added a "rock habitat" and even made a couple of playdough eyes.



What a fun idea!

You might get a cold just watching it . . .

Today has been an awful day. And it's only noon. It's one of those days that I might write about later, but writing about it now will cause me to have a nervous breakdown.

SO instead, I'm just going to post this video. It isn't really anything spectacular. Just 3 minutes of Jack and I talking to Bennett. He's such a sweet little boy. A little boy that won't sleep during the day unless he's strapped to my body. But sweet, nonetheless.

You might get a cold just watching this video because my boys were so congested in it. And I was holding Ben and the camera, so it's a little shaky.

So, you watch this. I'm gonna go eat a bag of Doritos.

Bennett at 5 weeks from Sara on Vimeo.

Dear Jack, Month 29

Dear Jack,

Part of being a good parent is teaching your child to look both ways before he crosses the street. It's the very first thing they teach you in Parenting School. And while we've failed you in some areas, this is one area in which we have excelled: teaching you to be careful in high traffic areas.

You always grab our hand and let us know if a car does so much as look like it's going to start rolling in our direction . . . even if it's two or three parking lots away. You hold our hand, look both ways and are usually (but not always) very cautious.



But it's always been a little bit awkward to hold your hand. You just grab two or three of our fingers and we kind of clasp your wrist in order to keep you safe . . . until just recently.

After your brother's doctor's appointment last week, we convinced you that Bennigan's hamburgers were, in fact, as good as McDonald's hamburgers and we all enjoyed a sit down meal together. You disagreed with our opinion on their hamburgers because your basis for judging burger quality lies solely in whether or not a prize comes with it. Nonetheless, we made it through the meal without any major meltdowns.

On our way out to the car, Dad was carrying Ben so you reached up and grabbed my hand as we stepped off the curb. As we were walking toward the car, I realized that we weren't struggling to keep a good grip on each other. Our hands fit together nicely. I squeezed your hand and you squeezed me back. It was such a small, quick moment. One that some people wouldn't have thought twice about. But that moment is lodged in my memory and will probably stay there forever. It's one of those moments that shouldn't really mean much but is of great significance to me. It was confirmation of what I already knew . . . you're not a baby. You're a little boy.


You're also a stinky boy. You sweat. And get dirty. I laid down with you for a few minutes before your nap the other day and I couldn't get over how much you smelled like a locker room after a morning of playing and wrestling with your dad. You and I went on a date tonight to Culver's and I just laughed as I watched you wipe the ketchup from your chin onto your sleeve as if that is why God made sleeves.

You're an active boy, too. While you can still be very gentle you are, in general, pretty rough. You like to tackle and throw and run and yell and roar and jump. Your volume control is lacking and we've begun to explain the difference between outdoor and indoor voices . . . and you have very little regard for our explanation. Have you always been this loud and we're just now noticing it?


You're an appropriately temperamental boy, as well. You scream when you don't get your way. And I mean a high-pitched, piercing scream that sends shivers down my spine. You've actually started to use that scream when you get hurt or are seeking attention, too. It's just lovely.

You yell when you're angry about something. You clench your fists and stomp when we send you to your room to have your temper tantrums. It's hard on me because I don't always know how to handle it . . . especially because I'm simultaneously trying to take your brother. But I know that it's hard on you, too, because you're also trying to figure out how to handle it.

This afternoon was probably one of the hardest afternoons we've had since Ben was born. Your screaming and tantrums were at an all time high and you kept insisting that I pick you up. You also complained over and over that you wanted baby brother to go back into my tummy. It's been almost 6 weeks, and up until now you haven't really shown any signs of jealousy or feelings of neglect. It broke my heart to hear those things . . . not because I really think you want baby brother to not be here, but because we might not be spending enough time one-on-one with you. So, we had our date tonight, but I know that it doesn't solve everything.


You and your Dad and your brother are the most important things in the world to me. I love my work, but it will never be as important to me as taking care of my boys. I hope that if you someday are able to remember this time in your life, that you'll be able to read this and realize that I was trying as hard as I could to take care of everyone. I can't explain it to you so that you'll understand now, but I hope that when you remember me yelling at you or putting you in time out or sending you to your room to have your tantrum, that you'll understand that just because I wasn't perfect at handling every discipline issue doesn't mean that I wasn't trying. It doesn't mean that I don't love you.


Our relationship has changed over the last few weeks, as you've become more of "my little boy" and less of "my baby." And while I miss having you as my baby, I would never go back. Because despite the tantrums and frustration that this new stage brings, I'm so proud of who you're becoming. I'm so proud to be your mom.

I love you.

Mom

You are what you eat . . .

I'll be the first to admit that this post could be as much about our menu over the last few months as it is about Jack and Bennett's Halloween costumes, seeing that they were dressed as a hamburger and a hot dog.

Trick or treating almost didn't happen. About two hours before Trunk or Treat, Jack announced that he didn't want to go.

"Don't you want to see Grandma and Grandpa?'

"No."

"Don't you want to go and get candy?"

"No."

"Do you want to see what Emma's costume is?"

"Nope."

It was so odd because he had been excited for over a week about wearing his costume and filling his ketchup packet bag with candy. But now he had no desire to do anything. He wasn't cranky about it . . . he just didn't really feel like going. Eventually, we coaxed him into going, and even into reluctantly posing for a few pictures.

I couldn't believe how many people referred to Jack as a "sandwich." Um, it's obvious to me that he was a hamburger . . . especially with the ketchup packet. What didn't they get? A lot of people asked if the costume was homemade. If by "homemade" they meant "purchased on ebay" then yes, it was homemade.


You might recognize Ben's costume from two years ago when Jack wore it. Although Jack was more than 20 pounds and ben is less than 13, so it didn't fit him as snugly.


I said that if Kyle and I were cheesy, we'd put aprons on and carry tongs with us. I underestimated Kyle's cheesiness because he wanted to do it. Fortunately, the distraction of getting a screaming infant and a less-than-excited toddler loaded up to go to Trunk or treat kept him from remembering.

My week on twitter . . .

An abbreviated look at a few of the things you might have missed if you don't follow me on twitter . . .

MONDAY

• Grocery shopping with two [for the first time] this afternoon . . . a little scared.
• Our carpet was cleaned and deodorized today . . . I heart Stanley Steemer.
  

TUESDAY

• Someone said I was "moving slow" because they e-mailed me 2 1/2 hours ago and I'm just now getting back with them. I set the bar too high.

WEDNESDAY

• Ben is 1 month old . . . 12 pounds, 11 ounces. He beat Jack by over a pound!

THURSDAY

• Happiness is . . .
  
  

• Jack: Will you cuddle with me? Me: Sure . . . for one minute. Jack: Two minutes. Me: One minute. Jack: One minute and a little more?

FRIDAY

• Jack: Thank you God for mom. Me: Aww, thanks, Jack. Jack: Congratulations, Mom.

SATURDAY

• Thank you to the mcdonalds employee who was gracious enough to not make fun of me when I tried to put my arm out of my closed window . . .

SUNDAY

• The fact that it's 3:56 rather than 4:56 doesn't make being awake right now any more fun.
• Jack just put his football in timeout and then said "oh did you hit me? well you can stay there longer now"

Brothers

While he fusses a lot in the evening, Ben is the happiest baby you will ever meet first thing in the morning . . . after his breakfast, that is. He was just grinning from ear to ear this morning while he and Jack had a little bonding time. You have to really imagine Jack saying all of this in a high-pitched voice, mimicking how he hears us talk to Ben:

"Hi Ben! Hi Baby Brother! Do you want to grow up and play bideo games with me?*"

"What's your name? Is it Bennett . . . orrrr . . . is it my name? It's BENNETT! He said his name is Bennett!"

"Do you know that your name starts with 'B'? Yep. It does. It does. It's spelled B-3-4-5-6-BEN"


*Just a note . . . we don't have video games. Well, Kyle does, but I think he's played maybe twice since Jack was born. But Jack talks all the time about wanting Ben to grow up so that they can play "bideo games" together.

Delaying the inevitable . . .

Sign #423 that your child is ready to be potty trained . . . when he is sure to bring a book before he tells you that he's wet or poopy and needs to be changed, so that he has something to read while you do so.

He's so ready. I'm so not.

"You grow 'em big . . . "

Something we've heard quite often since Bennett was born is, "you grow 'em big!" As if we'd just harvested a crop of pumpkins or something. I guess it's true, though. Our boys are both pretty big. Last night, our small group was over for dinner and Ina and Maria were talking about an 8 month old who was already 24 pounds. And I sheepishly reminded them that Jack was 20 pounds at 4 months and 23.5 pounds at 6 months. Yikes.

That said, I'm so curious to see how much Ben weights at his one month visit on Wednesday. He was bigger than Jack was when he was born and was back to his birth weight faster . . . so will he be heavier than Jack was at one month?

Ben is finished with 0 - 3 month clothing and is wearing mostly 6 month stuff because 3 month and 3 - 6 month leaves him with a bare midriff or forces him to keep his legs bent because they won't stretch out all the way. Just typing this evokes tears and makes me think about how quickly his first day of junior high is approaching.

He has become really fun to play with and will smile and coo at us pretty much any time he has a full tummy and a clean diaper. We don't have to work for it as much anymore, and he's even smiling at Jack now . . . which I have to give Ben credit for because I don't always smile at my sweet little two year old when he's shrieking and roaring an inch from my face.

Ben likes to sit and look at things dangling in front of him and his hands have just started to catch his eye. Every so often, he holds it out and just kind of stares at it as if to say, "WHAT IS THAT THING?!" We've caught him sucking his thumb a few times, but mostly just sucks on his fist while he's waiting for a meal. He's not a fan of tummy time, but made it a full four minutes on his belly before he started fussing this morning. I consider that to be a huge success.

We've switched to disposable diapers for a little while because the cloth ones were causing MAJOR chafing and peeling on his legs and tummy, but we're hoping to be able to switch back soon. I need to devote an entire post to that some time . . .

We're beginning to settle into a new "normal" but we still have a long way to go. I'm really liking being back at work a little bit each week and Ben cooperates for the most part. Jack really likes having Kelsey come play with him three times a week, too! It's good for both of us.

I must confess that I thought having a second child would be much easier than it is. I figured, I've done it all before, it should be easier this time right? And I guess it might have been a tiny bit easier than it is now, but this time around, I also have a two year old. And I own a business. I often find myself wondering what I would have done during all the time Jack slept right after he was born if I hadn't gone back to work right away. I guess I'll never know.

There are so many similarities and differences between Jack and Ben at this age, but I spend a lot of time saying, "I have no idea if Jack did that." or "I cannot remember what we did with Jack in this situation." This blog has come in handy for remembering some things and more often than not, we're dealing with new situations that arise as a result of being at home more than we were when Jack was born. Jack hated being swaddled and didn't like the pacifier much. Ben won't sleep long unless he's swaddled and uses a pacifier to go to sleep. Then again, I'm much better at swaddling this time around. Jack would always fall asleep in the bouncy seat as long as we kept it moving but Ben won't fall asleep unless we're holding him or unless he cries screams himself to sleep in the car seat. Jack hated the swing and Ben does as well, so we're wondering if maybe the one we have isn't that great.

Christmas card season is in full swing and I had no idea how much fun it would be to work with return customers! It's like getting together with old friends. THe other day, I had not had A SINGLE SALE by 8 PM which gave me a lot of time to catch up. I thought it might be my first day without a sale in more than 15 months, but when I woke up the next morning, I had sold three designs before midnight. So the streak is still going.

Anyway, life is good around here. How are things with you?

Miscellany

:: Today, Ben realized that when he's riding in the sling, he can just lift up his head and see me. He did it today, and I looked down and smiled at him and he just grinned back. He did this four times in a row . . . lifting his head and smiling. It was the highlight of my day. If only I could manage to get a picture of that adorable little smile . . . it would be the highlight of your day, too.

:: We skipped church on Sunday because, well . . . I'm afraid of the flu. Tons of kids in the school districts that surround our church have been out of school with the flu/swine flu. One district had more than 1/4 of their students out today.

Recently, someone tried to calm my concern by reminding me that a lower percentage of people have died from the swine flu than do from the regular flu every year. Um, so what? I just want my kids to NOT GET SICK. I've read so much about the flu viruses, vaccines, etc. and my verdict? Any side of any argument on this issue can give you convincing information. I really just want to keep my boys healthy. That is, of course, my first priority. But besides that, a trip to the doctor plus anti-viral medication? $150 or so. And don't even get me started on how much it would cost if one of them had to be hospitalized.

I had been considering finding a day care to send Jack to for one or two days a week, but now I'm wondering if that's even a good idea. But what am I going to do? Not leave the house until May? Skip church all winter?

:: Last week, I tried on my winter coat and it was REALLY tight. I was really bummed. Kyle keeps reminding me that it's only been three weeks (almost four, now) but still . . . it doesn't feel good. I didn't start wearing maternity pants regularly until I was 25 weeks pregnant, so my reasoning is that I have a few extra weeks to wear them post-partum. Right? No? Anyway, I've been trying to work out or walk every day.

:: On Saturday night, Kyle stayed home with the boys and I took a solo trip into town to get a few things from Target. I had no idea how much I needed time to myself!

:: Jack's volume has increased incredibly since Bennett has come home. He shrieks and yells and hollers . . . I don't know if he's working extra hard to get our attention or if he's always been this loud and I'm just now more aware of it.

:: Unlike Jack, Ben LOVES his bathtime. I think some of it probably has to do with the fact that we know what we're doing a little more than we did when Jack was a baby. But, just like Jack, Ben HATES his car seat.

:: I'll leave you with a few pictures . . .

Sneak peek for Justine . . .

If only we could all be this photogenic. Seriously.

My processing time has increased dramatically now that I have two little ones to take care of, but in the meantime, here's a sneak peek for Justine from this weekend's session . . .

Thy power throughout the universe displayed . . .

Have you ever seen the Northern Lights? If not, you're missing out.

I was 23 the first time I saw them. It was November 5, 2001. Kyle and I had been dating for a couple of months and it was the first night he ever told me that he loved me. (insert "awwww" here)

He dropped me off at my apartment that night and was knocking at my door an hour later. As I looked out the window to see who it was, I half wondered if he had come to take it back. But instead, he had walked down from his house to make sure I didn't miss them. They were amazing. It was a memorable night.

I hadn't seen them again until last night. We're floor parents for Muffit 4 at Spring Arbor University and we had them out for a hayride. As the ride began, I saw two blurry streaks in the sky. I kept trying to focus and was thinking to myself, "Maybe I need to have my eyes checked. That's so weird." But then Kyle made a comment about them too. We couldn't figure out what they were. Maybe a cloud being lit by a really bright star?

About half-way through the hayride, Chuck stopped the tractor, looked back at us and said, "Are those the Northern Lights?" By then, they were all around (which is weird, because they're usually in one general area of the sky). They were still faint, but they continued to get brighter as the ride went on. It honestly looked like something out of a sci-fi movie . . . we all joked about an alien invasion.

I sat there in the straw, with Jack in my lap and Kyle next to me and just took it all in. I was in total awe of creation, and moreso, the Creator. I had planned to go back outside later when the boys were both in bed to see if I could get some pictures, but I got distracted and totally forgot.

I searched online for some photos to share. This one is amazing. I think they're farther north, so the lights are a little brighter than they were down here.

Edited to add: The link is about the lights last night, but the photo at that link is NOT from last night's lights. I thought it was, but I was wrong. It still gives you the general idea . . .

As overheard when I was about to surprise Jack with cheese-its for a snack . . .

Me: Jack! I have a surprise for you!

Jack: Is it a Wii?

Me: Oh . . . um, no.

Jack: Are we going to the Treehouse?

Me: Uh, nope.

Jack: What's my su'prise?

Me: Nevermind.